Before I even start, a word of advice to men. If a woman is telling you there’s no need to fear, she wont eat you?

She’s probably going to eat you. 

This modernized, sexified, Little Mermaid with a horror twist comes to us from Polish* director Agnieszka Smoczyńska originally titled Córki Dancingu, literally “Daughters of the Dance Club.” After a Christmas 2015 release, Córki Dancingu went on to win the 2016 Special Jury Award for Unique Vision and Design at Sundance, as well as Best Film at Fantasporto 2016 before finally gracing us heathens in the USA with a February 2017 release. 

The Lure begins as so many love stories do. With two siren sisters enticing a poor man into the dark sea, by promising they won’t eat him. However the human song may hold just as much allure, as the song of the of a young musician calls them onto land. The two sisters, Golden (Michalina Olszańska) and Silver (Marta Mazurek), take human form and emerge from the watery depths. In their natural habitat, their bottom halves are quite magnificent, slimy tails. When dry, they’ve got legs. Hot legs. Identical to any other strong independent stripper except for their complete lack of genitalia. Their unnatural “Barbie doll” smoothness does not hinder them from quickly finding work as a novelty act at the very same flashy strip club that the object of their affection played by Jakub Girszal, plays bass. 

After a successful “audition” with the sleazy nightclub proprietor (Zygmunt Malanowicz), the girls are taken under the wing of the chainsmoking aging cabaret singer played by Kinga Preis.  The film follows the sisters musical adventure on land through a shopping mall makeover number, to their topless mermaid performances while lounging in a giant champagne glass filled with water. Between the flashy song and dance numbers that make them the stars of the nightlife scene, Golden and Silver navigate their cross species sexual coming of age. Hopelessly in love with the handsome bass player, Silver looks to overcome complications arising from a lack of genitals. Golden wrestles with her own kind of urges as both sisters struggle to remain in human form and not succumb to their animalistic nature, especially their blood sucking and flesh eating urges. Despite their efforts, we find that “hangry” has a slightly more sinister implication when your meal of choice is human. But don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you. 

A whimsically twisted take on a familiar fairytale, The Lure makes up for the occasional lack of coherence with its neon sequined nightlife setting, mischievously joyful musical numbers, and imaginative choreography.  

Choreographer Kaya Kolodziejczyk & Jaroslaw Staniek

Musical numbers: written by Barbara and Zuzanna Wronska of the Polish band Ballady i Romanse.

Random thoughts:

  • Does blood do the same thing to mermaids as water? if they get splattered with blood are they going to sprout a tail?
  • Did you know? The emergency phone number in Poland is 997.
  • Do better looking men taste better?
  • Ooo, and do Americans taste different from the Polish?
  • I wonder if you can re attach a thumb after someone bites it off, or would there be too many germs?
  • Whats the difference between sirens and mermaids?
  • Spoiler alert: Triton makes a hardcore metal band frontman. 
About Venetia Rossi

Venetia joins us from Boston. Raised in a home with no television, books were the entertainment of choice. At least until college, when she was given a second hand tv from a classmate. Months later, once she learned how to use the new contraption, she more than made up for lost time, making her way through decades of classic films. Now a strong, independent, TV owning woman, Venetia enjoys watching South Park, documentaries, and horror films.
She still doesn’t quite know how to use a remote control.